I admit it: I use soulseek to augment my music collection. It might come from being a music writer for so long in this internet age, where I can see everything as “promos” or “research” (I might have to write about that EPMD album someday, or at least tie it in to Rhymeslayer). Anyway, it’s pretty normal (if illegal) now.
But the odd part, the part that didn’t exist before the internet (really, before Napster, but it’s more explicit on slsk) is the public laying bare of your music taste.

I was just browsing through someone’s collection (as they were downloading from me), and the vast, vast majority of it is hipster-approved bands like Animal Collective, Deerhoof, Black Mountain, !!!… etc. The sort of moderate fringe that defines the Pitchfork aesthetic. But right in the middle of it was a sizable selection of Dave Matthews Band (and one Dave Matthews Band and Blind Mellon collaboration). Who are obviously NOT hipster approved.

On some level, I’d like to think of myself as being beyond embarrasment regarding my musical taste. I mean, after all, I love unconditionally ’80s buttrock (like the aformentioned Bittersweet Alley), I love a fair amount of cheesy disco, I love bubblegum pop from the world over, I even love a fair amount of contemporary country, which I might have dismissed had I not read impassioned defences from people like Chuck Eddy (former Village Voice music ed). I’d like to think of myself as a victory for popism, the broad and fun alternative to canon-concerned rockism, while still having a decent sense of musical history. A moderate in ideology, if not in volume.

But what if I WANT to be snarky and dismissive? I don’t like the Dave Matthews Band. I’m not interested enough to investigate further, to see if their patina of world music and trie self-help lyrics is really a fair assessment. I want to be fair, but I can’t be. I don’t have the time.

And in thinking about my crappy music, I realized that most of the things that are easiest to deride, I can mount a pretty decent defense as far as why I like them and own them. I do enjoy the Human League and other synth pop (including some risible Romo). I found the DMB while searching for Duran Duran, something I would have made fun of as a kid. And for a lot of things that I don’t like, I’ve seen similar defenses mounted. Steely Dan is a hipster musical crush right now, and I hate ‘em the way you can hate music in a long elevator ride. And the stuff that I actually do feel embarrassed about owning (but haven’t gotten rid of) tends to be hippy dippy psych bullshit like Victoria or Kaliedoscope, things that I was seduced by the supposed rarity of and kept trying to convince myself that it was worth listening to (that’s a foolish collector for you).

What about you? Assuming you’ve gotten this far down into the post, I bet you have some shame-faced albums that you can’t seem to get rid of. I’m not talking guilty pleasures, as there’s nothing to feel guilty about for listening to something you enjoy, but albums that you don’t like anymore (if you ever did). For me, it’s mostly the incredibly terrible “industrial” stuff that I listened to in high school. Stabbing Westward, Gravity Kills, Die Krupps, KMFDM. The beats are flat, the “political” lyrics are only slightly less embarrassing than the terrible “relationship” bullshit. But I doubt I’ll ever get rid of ‘em. They’re part of a time in my life when I really liked all of that stuff, and even if I never listen again, it’s hard to let go.

There. I’ve confessed. And I feel cleaner. Now it’s your turn.